I do the hard thing.

There is so much going on I'm not sure where to start!

I've been sore. Not just a little bit. I ACHED.  I touched my coach's wheel on Sunday and threw myself down the road. Riding a wheel is scary. Touching a wheel is bad. I know that for a fact now! It's mostly road rash, apart from a black pinky finger - which has now returned to its normal colour. I elevated and iced, then after teaching Monday morning I sat in the steam room for a bit before using some hot/cold therapy in the shower. My neck was out and my abs hurt pretty bad, too. Battered, bruised and SO EMOTIONAL. The whingy tearfulness and inability to concentrate with all the post-trauma toxins in my body was YUCKY. Luckily, the worst of it had passed by Tuesday and Wednesday I was feeling like a scraped up and scabby version of my old self again.

Last week was EPIC! While you were all enjoying your public holiday, I was at the first EVER Youth Speaker Inc, hosted by the INCREDIBLE Sam Cawthorn. I was surrounded by 9 other amazing thought leaders and youth speakers for 8 hours in a room that absolutely BUZZED with energy. It was INSANE and just tremendously valuable.

The rest of the week? It looked like this: Train clients, train me, teach spin, early starts, focus on eating right, try to get enough sleep, be organised, forget nothing, be on time, ADD MAXIMUM VALUE, ALWAYS.

Last Thursday was a stand-out. Just one of the most incredible days I've had in, well, AGES. I went out to cover a spin class at FF North Ryde and it was amazing. The connection I shared with every single person I came into contact with that morning was pure magic. Fantastic conversations with incredible people and an incredible workout to boot. What more could you want? It doesn't end there, though. After a quick chai tea pit stop, I was off to The Northcott Centre in Parramatta to meet with David Rothwell from the Amputee Association about our pet project, his idea, but I'm taking it, growing it and running with it just as far as these little legs will carry me. It might take 2 years, but it is coming: Accessible Wellness Centres Australia will be the first "gyms" designed specifically to service the mobility impaired, building functionality, body confidence and self esteem to improve their quality of life. The focus is on integration and inclusion: the end goal is to have confident, balanced people in active lifestyles and good mental AND physical health. Whilst in it's infancy, this is SO EXCITING for me and I am extremely passionate about seeing this through. Whatever it takes.

Saturday morning I had a great metabolic strength training session with Hilly before teaching spin over at Five Dock: the SSS and a great way to power into the weekend chores and endless to do lists! I then had the pleasure of having a follow up meeting with Sam over yummy chai tea in Balmain. We discussed some great topics and I'm looking forward to sharing some of that with you in my first video blog. There's a lot for me to do before I transition full time into my company and away from PT in Fitness First, and I'm feeling quite overwhelmed trying to juggle everything.

All I can do is breathe as I ride these tumultuous waves: I know it's OK to feel overwhelmed sometimes. I know it's OK to struggle. I choose to do the hard thing. It has the greatest rewards.

Week 3: Success!

So weigh-in day landed and I lost 700g! Yeeha! It's not a huge loss, but if I can maintain and sustain that rate - which I surely can - I'll have lost over 5 kgs in just 8 weeks time. That WILL be AMAZING! Just the sheer thought of how great it will feel is enough to get me going.

I'm really proud of this loss because of the sheer bloody mindedness and determination that has gone into it. There's so much planning and preparation going in to ensuring a result. I had 2 food events this week, with wine, and I made sure I pushed through some gruelling 2 hour sessions on the day and the day after these to earn the right AND to stay on track.

The first was the Fitness First New You Awards dinner on Friday. I was invited this year as, when I was a finalist last year, I was unable to attend. Trekking in Nepal is a pretty good excuse I reckon! It was such a great night, incredible stories, amazing and inspiring people all around the room - with a cast of fitness professionals I was just so proud to be counted among.

It has been a great week. Last Tuesday I gave a talk called "A Being of Balance" for LuluLemon. It was a new experience for me, to speak in this environment, seated on a yoga mat, sharing so intimately with a small room of people, amongst whom I recognised the faces of friends. I'll be presenting a similarly titled but much more detailed workshop version of the talk to Mission Australia tomorrow, part of my role in Fit For Good. My ambassador profile is live now! How special is that?!

I've had another couple of great successes in the past week - I now ride successfully in cleats outdoors. Had my first long session in them yesterday and felt really good. Had to celebrate last night with 2 good friends and a delicious meal :)

There are some amazing things coming up in my calendar... Youth Speaker Inc with Sam Cawthorn on Monday, the St Greg's Annual Sporting Gala on the 14th - a black tie event, and I'll likely be dressed by Paddington designer Sylvia Chan... and lots of training and hard work to put in, in the meantime!

The best bit is, I have Eddie by my side, sharing it all with me, and I'm loving every second :)

The Magic of the Moment

I can't believe we are two full months into 2011 already! I'll admit to being quietly content though - because in this short time, so much has been accomplished.

It has already been 2 months and 1 day since I started training towards my paralympic dream, with my bike in my possession. I have learned to use my new prosthesis and ride the bike - but this does need considerably more work and application. It's still really exciting for me to be able to say "I can ride a bike!" and, when I'm not stacking it, I love it. At the moment, though, I'm stacking it a lot - and spectacularly. I have more bruises and cuts than when I was pole dancing! Not to mention a nasty big scab on my elbow...

This moment in my life is magical for so, so many reasons. I love what I am living. I have to pinch myself often!

One of these is the Finishing First Group Fitness Instructor program. The course is so, so good - I'm already a cycle instructor, but I wanted extra development before stepping up to take classes. I want to be on the stage knowing that I'm delivering a quality product to the best of my ability from day 1. Obviously there will still be a learning curve, but with good coaching it won't be as steep. The course facilitators are incredible and so are the other students - highly talented individuals, all of us equally passionate about being exceptional group fitness instructors, hungry for success. Then there's the relationship I have with my mentor, Skye, who I team teach with. She is nurturing me, building me, feeding me the tools and information from her knowledge and experience to give me the best possible chances of success. I'm learning so much from her as a coach, a mentor and as a human being. What I worried might test a friendship is actually building into an even more robust and meaningful one. So my outdoor cycle training is taking a little bit of a back seat while I focus on becoming a first rate teacher, but my cycle fitness will surely be growing because I'm on the bike rehearsing my tracks every day.

Another is my relationship with Eddie. We share so many wonderful experiences so often and he looks after me so well. Best of all he is completely non-demanding and understanding of the fact that I am stretched in so many different directions, there isn't always a lot of me left for him. He just does whatever he can to make my stressful times easier and lighten my load, as well as offer a supportive ear and shoulder when needed (which is way more often that I'm proud to admit).

This weekend we celebrated our first anniversary. I was lead, blindfolded, through the city to a beautiful suite on level 34 of the Shangri-La in the city. We then had a spa and massage in the Chi Day Spa and the degustation with matched wines in Altitude restaurant. It was an incredible evening - and all a surprise to me! I also got a pair of Thomas Sabo earrings to accompany the necklace I got for xmas. What a sweetheart, right?

I love what my life involves right now. I love my clients, helping people, cycling, instructing, training, living, learning and loving. Whilst finance and cash flow are particularly problematic right now, I'm hopeful that the upcoming articles in Take5 magazine (March 2) and Body + Soul (March 27) will help me to secure sponsorship, drum up some new business and generate some fresh speaking engagements.

Fortnightly updates might help me make this less of an essay, then someone might actually read this, hehehehe.

Till next time! Xx Dz

Looking Forward 2011

This Monday I did my last, sad, little jog on the treadmill. It was, in fact, my first run in weeks. I've now, for the time being, retired from running. Why? Because, as Clint so succinctly put it: "cyclists don't run".

Which brings me to my first point of what 2011 has in store for me.

Becoming Debzillah: the competitive cyclist.
I have my beautiful race bike, my coach and my prosthesis. I have been adjusting to using the prosthesis, doing base building cadence and heart rate training in my loungeroom - where on the 2nd day of 2011 I had quite a serious spill. I hadn't secured my bike into the stationary trainer properly and was 6 minutes into my workout when the whole thing came crashing down like a house of cards. After checking that the bike was not damaged and disconnecting from my prosthesis, I lifted the bike to be greeted by my pink patella! My prosthesis had opened up my knee and my knee cap was staring back at me. I got 5 stitches - my first ever for a cut! I've since lost 3 stitches and the cut is healing open, but it doesn't hurt and isn't interfering with my training. I'll have a nasty scar - but it's on my knee, so who really cares?

The amazing team @Fox in Alexandria fixed the elbow in my prosthesis last Thursday and for the past week I've been on a fairly serious mission to learn to ride. Thursday afternoon was torture for my coach, holding onto the back of the bike while I tried to pedal, running back and forth. He researched a better way and came up with this little gem which saved both his back and his sanity. By Tuesday evening, I'm at the stage where I can coast down the hill with my feet on the pedals at a fair clip. The dismount, however, is proving problematic and my shins are scraped and bruised.

It's an amazing journey and one I'm enjoying immensely. Something most children do I am doing as an adult, complete with tumbles over the handlebars. Grass is soft and I am fearless and I feel so privileged to be going through this! There's a deadline, though. Classification day is Saturday, February 5th at 9:30am. Nothing like a little pressure to set you on fire :)

I'm also on the path to becoming a freestyle cycle instructor. My mate Skye has agreed to mentor me while I complete the Finishing First preparation program. This is challenging too, but will be so rewarding! I've been up on stage twice with Skye and will be there again tomorrow, and every Thursday and Sunday until I complete the program on March 18. Hopefully I'll get a class of my very own not long after.

So I have some pretty clear goals in that arena, to become a cyclist and group fitness instructor. It gets a bit more complex, in that I want a great sporting year and to stay injury free. It means taking a much saner approach to my training and I pay a great deal of attention to my nutrition and supplementation, too. I want to look my best, feel my best and perform at my best. Not just when I'm competing, but every single day. Yoga and more down time (as well as recovery strategies) play a big role in that. I didn't get a lot of down time in 2010 and it impacted me tremendously. I have to keep a handle on my workaholism and do a little more sitting down.

I've cleaned out the bookshelves and the wardrobe: thrown out loads of papers and sold my once loved treasures on ebay. I'm determined to make efficient use of both my time and space to allow myself to enjoy life more.

I've got goals around my PT business and building my speaking career, too, but I won't bore you with the business talk.

Taking my lessons in acceptance from 2010 and building on them through 2011 will make this an even better, bigger and more amazing year than the one it promises to be.

I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE AND LUCKY TO BE ALIVE!!!

And I'm breathing that in :)

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On The Right Track

Thanks to the incredible support of the amazing people I'm surrounded by, throughout the global network of connected individuals, everything is progressing swimmingly.

Centrelink approved funding for my prosthesis and it is currently being configured by APC Prosthetics in Northmead. I have to head to the office, bike in tow, to test it on Tuesday. While I'm over there, I need to go in and meet all my friends at TADNSW, who have let me piggyback off their charity to raise - can you believe it - $10,100?! Wow! I'll come back to this point.

I've changed bike supplier and what a great choice that has turned out to be! My coach suggested that it would be beneficial for me to work with Clarence St Cyclery because they're close to my work, he has a great relationship with the manager and because they have developed a support relationship with the Paralympic team. They are very sympathetic to my cause, also, and have given me a great deal, as well as being tremendously attentive and helpful. Danni and I went in to get me fitted up for the bike and there is only 1 part missing from completion. If that part can be sourced locally (it is currently on backorder), then within a week from now, I'll have my bike and stationary trainer in my home!! The funds raised are sufficient to cover my bike and trainer, helmet and cleats, proper clothing, a good lock AND insurance.

Learning to ride, on the other hand, is the biggest challenge I've faced yet. I met coach Tom out at Dunc Grey velodrome on Tuesday to have my first lesson... It was super tough. 28 years of my oblique slings functioning in their specific and unique alignment, which involves my right ribs slotting over to the right hand side of my right hip, is a difficult thing to correct and is prohibitive to me finding the balance point and position to allow for solo riding. Technical and complicated, I know, but essentially it lead to me being exhausted within 10 minutes! The other problem is that, unlike my coach, I'm not very patient. Seeing me try to ride for the first time, he just smiled and sighed and said "this is going to take a while."

Raising over $10 000 in such a short time has not only done amazing things for my confidence, but it has exposed me to the beauty of the human spirit and the power of human generosity and kindness. The wonderful ways in which people contributed and the ideas people had were ingenious and touching. I need to make a couple of shout outs:

• To Skye Jones, for calling for paper bag donations in all her spin classes.
• To Diane Azzopardi for auctioning her dvds to contribute.
• To Jules, who sold his artwork at a discount and donated a percentage to me.
• To Louise and Steve Kovacs, for their generous donation and requesting that I write to their nieces and nephews - which I did.
• To Fitness First Bond St for running a charity day with $10 sessions and all proceeds going to me - thanks also to the PTs who volunteered their time for me.
• To FSP for their $1500 contribution and complete support.
• To the friends I didn't know I had or hadn't heard from in so long who surprised and delighted me with HUGE donations.
• To Donna and Alison, for all your advice and encouragement.
• To Ingrid, for the posters, for listening, for being patient, for my website, my newsletter, for everything.
• To Eddie, Chandler and Danni: for being my tripod of closest friends, who support me in every way, every day. It takes a lot of flexibility and patience!
• To Scott and Louise, who jumped in at the very last to push me over the line.
• To everyone who contributed in any way. For Donating. For spreading the word. For believing in me. For caring. For being part of something bigger than ourselves.

Thank you <3

This Amazing Journey

I am pretty positive most of the time that I lead a particularly charmed life. I live in a GORGEOUS city, it is a beautiful time of year, I love my work because I find it so satisfying and rewarding to help people change their bodies, minds and lives. I have found my soul mate and life partner and I live exactly how I believe and see fit. I run when I want to, swim, dance, move, live, breathe, share, eat and cook. I experience so much joy.

It wasn't always like this. In fact, I've been through times tougher and darker than many. That's another thing I'm glad for - that most people can be spared those experiences, but also that I'm strong enough to shoulder them.

I'm happy as it is and I'm totally glad to be here... I'm an ambitious creature though and I love a good challenge, so the opportunity to work towards a gold medal in cycling at the paralympics when I've never ridden a bike alone is something I simply can't pass up. In fact, it frightens me to admit I've never wanted anything so badly in my whole life.

So I'm just back from a month overseas, trekking in Himalaya - hard to be me, right? I start planning some fundraising events and plotting some ideas for February - when people's wallets have had a chance to recover from Christmas and New Years, and so my ideas and events are well conceived and well executed.

Then on Monday I received an email from the Paralympic Committee advising that the National track championships are on February 3-6 2011, and that I need to attend for classification and to put down a time.

BUT I HAVE NO BIKE OR PROSTHESIS!?

So after a minor panic attack, I resolve to set to work on Tuesday to raise funds for my bike with the special gear set that will enable me to ride one handed and the stationary trainer that will enable me to ride MY bike, indoors, without an arm. I got up early and wrote a plan and brainstormed with my close friend, graphic designer and web site producer, Ingrid in Canada. I was on the phone by 9am, spoke to my accountant about the possible ways I could raise funds without the tax man eating them instead of them going to my bike and the donors receiving the tax deductions they deserve. The only feasible solution was to partner with a charity.

I got onto the Everyday Hero site and went through the list of charities geared towards helping people with disabilities... When I got down to T, I discovered TADNSW - Technical Aids for the Disabled. A charity with a service called Freedom Wheels - specifically aimed at assisting the disabled to ride bikes! Well YAY - that's exactly what I want to do! So I got on the phone secured an authority to fund raise. I see the beginnings of a beautiful partnership... While its fantastic that I found this organisation just when I needed them most, I must say that I'm completely baffled and bewildered by the fact that I have not once heard of this service in all my 28 years. I could have started riding long ago!

I spoke to the team at Renegade Cycles and made sure they knew about my order and were happy to help and I also contacted my friends at Financial Service Partners, who helped launch my motivational speaking career. Then I built my fundraising page and got Ingrid to help me writeup the facebook event.

At 1pm Tuesday I launched my fundraising campaign on Facebook and Twitter. I sent my email campaign shortly after. To my astonishment, the donations started rolling in immediately, accompanied by beautiful messages of encouragement and support. It was an incredible feeling to be connected to so many people in the faith and hope that I will reach this lofty goal of raising $10 000 in 10 days, and ultimately success in para-cycling. At the time of writing this entry, less than 48 hours later, I have raised $4535. INCREDIBLE.

Wednesday was another big day! Fitness First have offered to run a fund raising event where the PTs will give  30 minute training sessions for $10, with all proceeds going to my cause. FSP have a plan to raise funds for me and another friend is pitching me to her company in the hopes of securing corporate sponsorship (thanks Donna!). I also met with my cycling coach, Tom Skulander, and will be headed out to the Velodrome to start training with him (see: learning to ride a bike, Jayme Paris' old one!) on Tuesday.

This morning I did another big thing and instructed APC Prosthetics to go ahead and order my arm from the US. I am confident that funding for the prosthesis will be secured when required.

The response has been completely overwhelming. This amount of support is something I never dreamed I was destined for. I just keep trying to keep on top of the donation emails, responding with my expressions of gratitude, regardless of how insignificant and unsubstantial they seem to me as compensation.


My eyes keep welling up with tears. This journey is amazing. I have never felt so loved.


If you have made it this far through reading my post, please share this link to my fundraising page and my story with everyone you know.


<3