Adversity Addled

Last night, when I started this entry, I was seated on the floor of my new residence in Randwick, icing my ankle. I have been plagued by running injuries these past months and the latest is Tibialis Posterior Tendinopathy. I was hopeful that 2 weeks of massively reduced training load would be adequate to have me fit to run the Gold Coast Half Marathon, but a test run Sunday morning has very loudly confirmed that I'll be walking the race.


Lucky for me, I'll have walking company! I have been on 2 running camps this year with Sweat Sydney and both were SO enriching! I have met such inspirational, amazing runners and made some life long friends. My friend Nathan Hayes is also currently injured and will be walking the half next Sunday. Its a huge shame for him because he is a lightning fast runner, but with his first full Marathon to look forward to in New York later this year, its important right now to recover from current injuries and nurture his body. 


I need to really embrace that injury recovery and healing are key, as I have a major event to look forward to later in the year myself: El Flangers and I are off to Everest Base Camp!


For the month of October, he and I will be trekking through the Himalayas and it is absolutely critical that my body is injury free. Adam has offered me this trek as my birthday gift this year. No one has done anything quite so amazing for me in my entire life and I feel so blessed and honored.


With all this in mind, though, today really hurts. I'm grieving. Frustration and depression are rattling me and I'm struggling hard to hold it together.


The most amazing thing happened for me on the Easter running camp in Jindabyne. Our long Sunday run was from Charlotte Pass to the summit of Mount Kosciusko and Mark Chandler was my running buddy. I loved the run and was grateful for his company. It was awesome to share the experience with him. Once I had reached the summit of our nation's highest peak, I was able to release myself from the fear of failure, if only temporarily. I realised who I am, what I love, where my passion is and what I want from life.


I am a distance runner. I am girl with one arm who finds joy and freedom in running. It is my truest love and my greatest passion. I embraced my power to inspire people. I embraced that I wholly enjoy creating connections with people and sharing stories of our experiences as well as sharing the experiences themselves. I long to ignite the spirits of those people I come into contact with and I want to illuminate them with fresh hope, courage and bravery as they share in mine. I want to travel the world from age 30 running marathons and speaking to people, motivating, inspiring and enriching them. I want to be sponsored to do this. 


I want to experience balance in my body and the fullness of function that a human can experience. To this end, I would like my sponsors to assist in funding a functional myoelectric limb. I desperately long to ride a bike and this would allow me to broaden my horizons, expanding my view as an athlete to encompass triathlon.


I guess this injury I am currently suffering does help the triathlete's cause: I will need to get in the pool and on the bike, because it will be some time before I can run again.


It is the accumulation of these desires and experiences that leads me to my grief today. I am separated from the outlet that allows me to connect with my joy, my freedom and my passion. The love and support of my friends right now is vital.


My friend Clint, who is also a PT from Fitness First Bond St just messaged me with some sage advice;
"You can't allow injury to break you mentally. It's a set back, yes, but not the end of the world. You just need to change which half you're going to do. There are heaps more. Nothing will break you if you roll with it. Our job is to keep people motivated and mine is especially to show you that there are opportunities out there every day. Reevaluate yours and move forward - it makes you stronger."