Looking Both Ways - 2010.

It is with fondness and a strong sense of accomplishment that I bid farewell to 2010. It was an amazing year for me that passed in the blink of an eye. It has brought amazing people to me and my life has been enriched in countless ways.

The first quarter of the year was devoted to learning how to operate my business and become Debzillah the PT, as well as getting my mileage up as a distance runner. It was also about establishing myself as Debzillah the single woman and learning to live as my own will dictates. I experienced the frustration of injury and tackled my frustrations head on. I've dealt with them much better this year than ever before. Through yoga and self awareness, I'm able to challenge my instinctive mental inflexibility and practice patience. I have developed a much stronger sense of curiosity when dealing with myself, my actions and my emotions, so I exercise much less self criticism, judgement and negative self talk. I also learned that expressing gratitude as often as possible, especially in the face of adversity, is so very rewarding and fulfilling. It feels a whole lot better than dwelling on the negative and indulging in self pity and despair.

February 25th I was in a burlesque show with my sister, which was a lot of hard work and a lot of fun. This is the night I met Eddie.

At Easter I went to SWEAT Sydney's running camp in Jindabyne with Mark Chandler and we met so many lovely, inspirational and talented people, like Milov, Nathan, Nikki and Pip. As Mark and I summited Kosciusko, I temporarily released myself of fear and self doubt, embraced the joy I take in being in my body and admitted that I desperately long to inspire people on a big scale: that I want to be a motivational speaker. Just as I had found the requisite courage and hope to change my life in 2009 and leave telecommunications to work in health and fitness, I found the requisite strength and courage to build on the dream that I was realising.

I haven't stopped since. I am building, layer upon layer, the life that is genuinely representative of all my hopes and dreams. Despite injuries in March, May and again in June, I completed a sub 2 hour half marathon with a severe upper respiratory tract infection. In May I also moved out into my dream flat, on my own for the first time in my life, in my ideal location. I then bid farewell to the green hair I had so cherished as one of my defining traits for over a decade. I decided to experiment with being approachable, warm and open. What good things that brought!

Not long afterwards, I met Geoff. He saw the potential in me to be a motivational speaker and positive role model. He also set me on the quest to obtain my first prosthesis and learn to ride a bike - my idea being to participate in triathlons... On my quest, however, Richard from APC Prosthetics put me in touch with the paralympic talent search team and on September 12th I participated in a talent search day. 2 weeks later I gave my first motivational keynote speech, shortly after which I received my letter from the Paralympic Committee encouraging me to train in both athletics and cycling... I love endurance, though, so I elected to focus my energy and efforts on becoming a cyclist.

I spent October away on the trip of a lifetime, trekking through Nepal and visiting Everest Base Camp. I made amazing friends, like Jim, on this journey as well as seeing so many beautiful things. I journalled every day I was away and grew so strong - mentally, emotionally and physically. As I had left Sydney, things were reaching fever pitch and this resumed immediately upon my return.

 It was not much more than a week after my return to Sydney that I received an email from the Paralympic Committee advising me that I should mark an important set of dates in my calendar for classification - the track nationals February 3-6 2011. I still had no bike or arm, but I was resolute and not lacking in conviction. I knew I had to raise 10k to get my bike and kit - the problem was I had to do it quickly. I appealed to the people around me, using the internet and forming a relationship with TAD and this was truly the experience of a lifetime.

Feeling a net of support form beneath me, extending such good will and generous donations, my goal was achieved. By the good nature of the people I have contact with, I was able to collect my beautiful racing bike and all the trimmings and kit anyone could ever dream of on Christmas eve. (Thanks again Mark and all the team at Clarence St Cyclery!)

It all worked out and through funding from Centrelink, I got my prosthesis, too. I was able to start training on my stationary trainer in my loungeroom on boxing day and spend the last precious days of my incredible 2010 by building the base of who I will be in 2011. Debzillah the cyclist.

The reading highlights of the year were the Millenium Trilogy and Lance Armstrong's "Its Not About the Bike". That book there has really helped set me in the right frame of mind for things to come.

This is the first of 2 installments. I've looked into my past and next I will write about my plans for the future. I've written this more for me than anyone else, but if you've read this far, I hope you got something out of it :)