Difficult Decisions

Illness is no longer something I'm used to. I enjoy good health and focus on maintaining my wellbeing.

So right now, I'm very sick and very conflicted. I believe that the human body is amazing and our ability to heal, regenerate and grow is so often underestimated or even ignored in favour of "quick fixes" - like antibiotics. My income and livelihood, however, depend on my wellness every single day.

Today I see the doctor, who will prescribe antibiotics. Should I take them, I will subsequently rebuild my body with probiotics, coconut oil, vital greens and an immune tonic... But I could do all that right now, without putting western drugs in my body and causing it toxic strain, and build my immunity so that I don't get sick again for a long time. I risk taking longer to heal and losing more money in the short term, and that poses a very big problem.

I'm opening this one up for discussion!

Another Year Ticks Over

Tomorrow I turn 29. I'm excited! I needed to write this quick note before I go to bed.

I'll wake up alone and I'll be happy. Last year I chose to do the same, but on the day I was miserable. I was still finding my feet as a single woman in this world. As ME, with no boundaries and no emotional crutch. I'm in a very different space now. I can be alone and feel totally secure.

I look back at what I've achieved in the last year and I smile. 28 has been the best year of my life. I've grown so much as a person and my life is taking on the shape I want it to, going in the direction I really want it to. None of this is easy and it isn't yet a fait accompli, but this journey is one that I love and I can't wait to see what I have become by age 30.

I still don't have a handle on that whole balance thing, but I'm getting better at it. I'm definitely a lot less stressed than I was a year ago. In this past year, I have enjoyed the best health of my life. As my birthday approached, I have excitedly proclaimed to anyone who would listen "I've given myself the best present I can imagine! I'm the fittest and the healthiest I've ever been!" In true Debzillah style, I subsequently succumbed to the first coldy fluey thing I have had in over 6 months. You gotta laugh, right?

I'm also the most content within myself that I've ever been. Self acceptance had always seemed so foreign and challenging to me, but I'm now so close I can smell it on the air. I can't quite taste it, but I know it is near.

And on that note, GOODNIGHT and farewell 28!